She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
