you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
