i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
