All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
