Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
