idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this beer tastes like vomit already
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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