ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
