Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
