Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
