i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
