never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
