I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
