highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I know her cup size but not her name....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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