They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
