I think im going to throw up on grandma
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
time to smoke my breakfast
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
