I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
