Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
