isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
