Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
