This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
