I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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