I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
