I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
a search helicopter?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
