I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
