just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
