He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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