We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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