Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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