I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
