I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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