i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
