a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
tell me about the eggs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
