I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
