it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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