My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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