He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Found the puke drawer
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
