its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
