And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
