I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
