i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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