this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
