I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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