Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
