You really coming over, don't trick.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
