She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
