so that wasnt chicken after all
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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