Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
