I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
