Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
