i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im holly from the hills drunk
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Your penis caused this!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
