god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i think im in europe. pls send help
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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