I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm too high and old for this...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
