Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i dont even know how to be here
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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